Are you using needles? Do you need to involve yourself with criminals in order to buy it? Do your colleagues know or suspect anything at all? Do you have a normal house or does it look like the apartments you see in Black Tar Heroin?
Sorry for all the questions but I'm genuinely interested and fascinated when you say you have a job as as Senior Software Engineer while being addicted to heroin.
With the caveat that I'm an absolute idiot, and if you try and emulate any of this, you're even more of an idiot, then why not...
I both shoot up and smoke. Particularly when I'm working it helps to have injected at lunchtime or in the morning, and that'll keep me going the rest of the day. Smoking (chasing the dragon) on foil is much more of a time consuming thing, and I'd do that at home in the evening, where it will last all night. Also it's not possible to use that way in public ;)
The kind of people I buy from aren't the 'street' type dealers who are as likely to stab you as provide product. I have regular suppliers who have a much more stable lifestyly, and I either meet them or they will deliver. Yes, they're criminals, but the drug dealing is likely the only criminal activity they're involved in, they may even have a trade or job on the side as well.
Whether colleagues suspect is _always_ a worry. I think as long as you do your job well, employers will tolerate a fair bit. In my case, producing code is hopefully good enough to keep everyone happy. And with code in GitHub as open source and speaking at conferences, you can't hide; everyone can see how productive you are. The biggest problem is probably if I run out of heroin, meaning I can't work due to withdrawl, which is often hard to explain.
But yes, it is quite possible to maintain a full-time job as a software engineer along with a full-time heroin addiction, Cf. functioning alcoholics. Bear in mind that many start-ups often have a number of 'eccentric' and socially awkward types already, so spotting someone with a heroin addiction is probably going to be quite hard, - as long as they're not falling asleep at their desk every day ;)
Of course there are downsides. You'll probablym have no spare money (GBP 40 at least and up to GBP 100 per day, not sure about the USA) and no social life with your colleagues (you can't go drinking with them because you have to go home and score and then shoot up or smoke) and it's hugely emotionally draining. It takes a lot of work hiding things from people. Another big problem I have is that although I consider myself (fairly) intelligent and (somewhat) talented, I feel like heroin use has sapped about 10-20 IQ points, and my short-term memory has also taken a hit. This is a big reason for wanting to quit - I'm getting older and I worry about the cumulative effect on my mind and my productivity.
So there you go. It's actually been sort of cathartic to write this, but I really have to emphasise that what prompted me to create this throwaway account is that I'm trying to _quit_ - not to encourage anyone to start! Heroin has been very comforting in the past, but it's not something I want in the future. Recently, successes at work have been driving me to think that I just don't need the crutch of my addiction anymore. If I can stop this, that'll be the best thing I've achieved in a long time, and I hope it'll help me and the company I work for achieve even more...
Thank you very much. That was a really interesting read! I don't think anyone would be encouraged to live your life, least of all me (my best friend died from an overdose). So I find it really tragic but I hope and believe you will find a turning point. When you've passed all this maybe you can reflect back and write a book or something. I would definitely read it.
