I think you're misunderstanding me or over-interpreting what I've said. I'm not justifying or excusing the unkind behaviour, and I'm aware of the site terms on HN.
What I'm saying is that in large online forums - regardless of terms of use - some people are unkind, and that it's a good idea to be prepared for that when you post something publicly.
What I'm saying is that in large online forums - regardless of terms of use - some people are unkind, and that it's a good idea to be prepared for that when you post something publicly.