> For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard)

I kind of didn't understand the logic behind how he got there. According to the article women get more matches then they know what to do with. Why would lowering your standards in such an environment be a good strategy?

Lowering your standards will find guys who aren't just interested in sex. The problem is that most women want the same (small proportion of) men. He said that the more matches a man gets, the more likely he'll just want sex and not a relationship. So you go for the less desired men and you find better quality matches, if you are looking for more than casual relations.

It does seem like there are a lot of hidden assumptions here. Is the man who gets less matches really more likely to want a relationship rather than sex, or is he faking that opinion because he doesn't think he has options and thinks lying will get him more matches.

My assumption would be someone who changes their mind on what they want based on availability of choices would probably not be a good relationship partner.

So would lowering your standards really get you more "quality" matches, or just get people more willing to lie about what they want because they are more desperate?

It can be explained with simple statistics.

Let's say 50% of men want casual sex, 50% want a stable relationship, regardless of their desirability.

Let's say that the 10% most desirable men get 10 "conclusive" matches a month, the others get 1 per month.

Let's say that for men who are in for casual sex stay on the platform for 1 year, those who are in for a long term relationship stay for as long as they need to.

Let's say that 1 in 10 matches can lead to a long term relationship, if desired.

The result is that on average all men who is in for casual sex will stay for 1 year, attractive men who are in for a long term relationship will be there for 1 month and less attractive men who are in for a long term relationship will be there for 10 months.

So with a 50/50 long-term/casual split, and by taking into account how long they stay you will have:

- 51.2% of less attractive men who want casual sex

- 42.7% of less attractive men who want a long term relationship

- 5.7% of attractive men who want casual sex

- 0.4% of attractive men who want a long term relationship

The result is that if an attractive man is still on the platform, there is 92% chance that he is in for casual sex.

Of course, plenty of assumptions here, but the general idea is that attractive men looking for a long term relationship won't stay long, and those who remain are more likely interested in casual sex, whereas it is more balanced for less attractive men.

Of course, it also works for women.

I think the obvious conclusion to that is that dating apps are only good for hookups, and anyone who wants a real relationship would be best served by going elsewhere where the signal to noise ratio is higher and not skewed in this fashion.

Interestingly though you are basically describing a lemons market. However we don't usually advise people buying used cars to go for the crap-looking car.

You're thinking about it wrong. Any guy you meet who struggles with women is generally going to be looking for a long-term relationship. Starving men don't toss fish back into the water.

>Is the man who gets less matches really more likely to want a relationship rather than sex, or is he faking that opinion because he doesn't think he has options and thinks lying will get him more matches.

I'd say more likely down the line there's not a huge difference between the popular and unpopular men regarding what they aim for but the men who get a ton of matches and gravitate towards a fixed relationship are more likely to be out of the dating market.

Presumably, men who get less matches would have more sex when they are in a relationship versus when they are not in one.

The article is a bit a of jumble of thoughts, but I believe that advice is aimed at girls who aren't liking and therefore not matching. Some lines that mention this particular grouping:

> Only 50% of girls sent 10 likes in their account lifespan.

> 10% of girls that finish the onboarding never send any pass or like, ...

> We have plenty of girls that can scroll through 300 profiles and not like anyone and deleting their account saying "I dont like anyone" well

Because if you only like the hot guys, you only match with guys that everyone else likes too, and who just want sex.

Not if their goal is a serious relationship, it's a terrible strategy.

> 2:1 men to woman is a far better ratio than what most people claim (5:1 is usually thrown around with no evidence).

Hah, check out this claim 3 women to every 2 men. Of course there's no mention of what site/app it is: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=38059778