It's rare now, but probably less so in the 80s/90s. The BOFH meme didn't come from nowhere, and there's also the quite strikingly sudden exodus of women from the field to consider.

BOFH comes at least in part from putting people who don't want to do customer service into what are effectively customer service roles. You see this at food service locations where someone who hates customers ends up interacting with them. They end up being unpleasant. For roles like food service, the person eventually either gets fired or learns to be socially reasonable.

For technical support roles, this behavior gets a pass unless it's really egregious because the employee is supposedly hired for technical ability and not hospitality. Plus in these roles the "customer" is often another employee who's basically captive. So largely this is the result of messed up incentives.

You see the same issue, e.g., at the DMV. Largely the employees are fine, but there are always several who clearly don't want to be there and a couple who are actively unpleasant. The incentives are set up to enable this because customer service is not "job 1". The customers are captive and there's little pushing out unpleasant employees.

The relative lack of women is probably multifaceted but to the extent that it's related to antisocial geeks, I again think it's more to do with enabling the behavior than with the volume. A very small portion of the population can do severe damage if the rest allow it.

The best character trait you could possibly have in a helping role is to genuinely enjoy the experience of having helped a person deserving help. Fortunately, I am blessed with that trait. But with that comes the challenge of sieving the "deserving" from the "undeserving", when everyone clamours for your time.