> 48. Keep your identity small. “I’m not the kind of person who does things like that” is not an explanation, it’s a trap. It prevents nerds from working out and men from dancing.
At the same time, identity can be used for positive change. My family values balance and as a result I've grown into a renaissance man.
I'm at the time of my life (college, looking for internships) where balance isn't something I need. I need dedication and focus to make a dent in the world with the field I care about - programming.
Recently I've immersed myself into communities that self identify as nerds. Identifying as a nerd "tricks" my brain into liking all-day grinds, and putting in the necessary work to achieve my version of success.
The advice is still good. An identity, deliberately self-selected, can be a useful thing and bring you some happiness. Going from, "I'm the guy that hates exercise" to "I'm the guy that likes running" probably bought me an extra decade or more of life, and a lot more comfort vs being 240+ lbs. But many identities are not self-selected or are not deliberately selected. And they can create unhappiness and conflict, so people should be careful with how they finish the phrase "I am...".
At the same time, identity can be used for positive change. My family values balance and as a result I've grown into a renaissance man.
I'm at the time of my life (college, looking for internships) where balance isn't something I need. I need dedication and focus to make a dent in the world with the field I care about - programming.
Recently I've immersed myself into communities that self identify as nerds. Identifying as a nerd "tricks" my brain into liking all-day grinds, and putting in the necessary work to achieve my version of success.